Superman Aspirations

"In the middle of the night, train stops at a small deserted station, I get down to get some air , there is a cool autumn breeze  and then I turn around as I hear the train whistle...I walk towards my bogey to board it again...but as I take my right foot forward, instead of climbing up, I fall onto the tracks with my face against the wheels of the train , I see them starting to move slowly and I get up immediately to get back on platform...but as I hold onto the edge of the platform , it crumbles down and brings down the the roof of the station with it. Then I throw a bucket of water on the rubble and clear out everything and get back in my bogey through its window."

"Really !" exclaimed Riya, "Sam,that is not only stupid but one of the most boring dreams I have heard of."

Sam disagrees, "Why? I almost died in my dream, but get back and sort of destroy the station and resume my journey!"

"Yes, but it is still a stupid train journey. You don't fly out of a burning building or walk on water to save the drowning people of a capsized boat in a middle of pacific ocean." Riya explains emphatically." Now lets get back to reality, our class starts in 10 minutes."

"So I am not a superman in my dream,but its still pretty cool."

"My point is that, its a dream. You can be a superman."

"hmm..."

Riya and Sam have been friends since primary school and have joined the same Undergrad School. Riya knew very early on what she will make of herself,she had planned and chosen her school and  subjects accordingly.She also knew which company she will join to kick-start her career in investment banking.
Sam on the other hand, always went with flow instead of planning ahead, he is still not sure what he wants to do once he completes his under-graduation.

Sam was thinking about what Riya said the entire day. So the moment he spots her on her way out to home after school, he leaps towards her and spurts out,  "Why do I need to be a superman?"

Riya knew him too well and instead of being astounded, she quickly recalls the conversation they had at the beginning of the day and responds, "Because if you are not a superman, you are an ordinary man and nobody's interested in that."

"Ordinary people are not interested in an ordinary man!"

"Yes,because everybody is ordinary and hence you need to be extraordinary. And everybody will be interested." smiles Riya, "Come on, I don't have to talk to you like a 1st grader, you know this. Get over your dream now, they are meaningless anyways."

"In my dream, I get over disasters and resume my journey, Isn't that extraordinary ?" 

"No,everybody has hurdles and problems in their life and they continue to live it or according to you resume their journeys" laughs Riya , using Sam's metaphor. "So nothing extraordinary."

"So, How do I become a superman ?",

"hmm, tricky question." ponders Riya," Let me see, in real world we don't fly or stop the train with one hand. So you would need to excel at everything you do , outdo everyone around you, in your school, your job or do something first, that nobody has done before you and then you continue doing outstanding work and then people would be interested, you will get tons of money, possibly fame or power etc....This would be a real world superman I think because almost everyone wants to be this. What do you think ?"

"Are you trying to be one ?", questions Sam, deep in thought.

"Yes, everyday of my life."

"What if I become a superman but I am not happy ?" 

Not interested to continue this conversation anymore, Riya shrugs her shoulder and answers impatiently, "Well, you become one, then we'll see."

"Will you be happy Riya, once you become a superwoman ?" Sam questions again, ignoring her visible lack of interest in this conversation.

"Yes." retorts Riya, impatient and in a hurry to end this conversation which she thought has been stretched long enough

Sam gets the message and nods thoughtfully.Then they both start walking together towards the bus stop. Riya was not sure if Sam was still thinking about his stupid dream, but couldnt help smiling at his ability to make such a big deal about a dream which most people would have forgotten quickly , much less analyze it philosophically and draw an analogy to life.

Then she couldn't help pondering over Sam's question while they waited for bus.And by the time she reached home she had thought over her entire life from the day she realized that Santa was not real , and from then on-wards her race to be extraordinary in her School, her ballet class, her tennis lessons. She couldn't remember anything she had not aced. She was sure at this rate she will surely get a great career start in her choice of company, and continue her streak.
And then she asked herself the question again, "Will I be happy, once I become a superwoman ?" and realized she doesn't really know yet.

Red Shoes

"Aey Raghu...!"

Raghu turned back and started walking towards his little sister Roli, feeling proud of himself after having successfully bargained for 2 samosas for Rupees 2 instead of 5 from the vendor near his shoe-shine corner by the sidewalk.
Roli, 5 years old sitting by her brother's worn out wooden shoe shine box waiting eagerly for him to be back by her side. Raghu, 9 years old knew very well that her little sister who had started accompanying him for work since last 6 months, was not yelling for the hot samosa but her ever curious mind had another question for him.
He with Roli in tow starts his day about 5 in the morning at the dump-yard rag picking, he was told by experienced rag pickers, early bird gets the worm. Then early afternoon,he sets up his little shoe shine kit on the sidewalk near the big buildings , which has some offices and shops. Later half of the day he makes the round of automobile repair shops or goes to railway stations to try his hand as a porter, most often unsuccessfully, as stations nowadays have designated coolies and no one is interested to give this short , thin , tiny framed 9 year old to haul any weight. On a lucky day the mechanic in the repair shop employs him as helper.

"Raghu, these madams going inside the building everyday, How many footwear do they have ?"


"five...sometimes six"

Roli likes being along with her brother, apart from rag picking, she hasn't learned any other work. She looks up to Raghu, she likes how he knows everything and never answers with "I dont know" for any question she has.

"Do you think they can have so many?" she asks raising her tiny hands showing all her ten fingers.

"that's ten, No that is too many. Nobody has ten pair of shoes"


"Why?"

Though Raghu is very fond of his little sister and never gets tired of answering her questions, but at times it does get a little difficult figuring out the answers. However, he knows he has learned a lot with his close to 4 years of experience working and living independently on the streets, and knows with conviction that he has answer to all her questions.

Raghu explains, "Because girls like colors, and there are not more than five or six, and they have one of each color."

"What about boys ?"

"They have about two, brown and black. See that's why I have black and brown polish to shine them"

Satisfied with the logic, Roli smiles at her brother and shifts her attention to samosa he brought for
her. Both are looking at the barrage of people and cars on the road while enjoying their hard earned samosas.

A group of nearby school students pass by them, Roli notices a boy and urgently pats Raghu's shoulder with one hand and points her finger with other, towards this boy in skinny jeans and bright red shoes with white laces.She then looks at Raghu, not questioningly but confused.

Raghu looks at the shoes observantly and then at the boy wearing them. He turns to Roli and tells her matter of factly, "Those are not real shoes."
He continues, " The boys who work and earn money wear real shoes , black or brown, the ones I shine.This boy does not work so he is not wearing real shoes."

Roli didn't quite grasp the concept, but nodded her head signalling she understood. She believed him because she knew Raghu was always right.

Time and Alone

We all have had a time when we are alone , time when there is no one with you physically. It could be for few hours , a day or an alone weekend at home. Some of us may enjoy this "just me" time, probably due to the hectic life and work, some may still hate it besides the hectic life and work.

All of us have different take and plans on how to deal or what to do when alone. So do I. There are hundreds of things people do and many that I do when I am alone irrespective of whether I like being alone or not. My instinct like of many others is to occupy myself with some activity when I am alone... of-course one cannot stare at walls for hours when sitting alone at home ( you all know why that's not a good sign).
So a good and healthy thing would be to occupy yourself with an activity when alone.And then I thought of all those times when I was alone and what I did, ( I know I have so much time that I think about what I do when I am alone, get over it ) what I realized is that I may call it occupying myself but I am actually distracting myself...from what ? my own thoughts !
All of us have so many things going on in our heads... whether you are a big shot - very busy guy or unemployed - not much to do guy ... your head not unlike mine would be constantly filled with so many different shades of thoughts- beautiful , not so nice, confusing, positive, fearful ,embarrassing , cheerful, troubling and sometimes few of those together.

So when alone with just your own thoughts - what do you do ?
I hope to not sound preachy, merely reflecting on this realization which some others may have thought about or some probably may think it isn't necessary enough to think so much about ( either ways we are thinking a whole lot of stuff in our minds all the time ) 
So when alone I end up watching TV , talking/chatting or playing games on phone, playing music , read, do some house chores ( nothing unusual per normal person's standards.. ) then there are those awkward short phases of time when there is nothing to do ..usually after one activity is finished and before you find another to do. Have you thought how you feel ? I know how I do....restless, very bored and more than that anxious to find something to fill my time quickly. Almost as if I am scared to face myself...this could be as short as 5 minutes.
We have so many emotions, situations at work, our relations and events of our day to day life buried in the back of our mind..they all come spiraling forth in this short few minutes when we face ourselves alone, so we distract ourselves, whenever we are in this situation...until we are nearly incapable to face our thoughts.

I am not a guru , I do not have answers to life's complications. And I have no breakthrough. And definitely have not reached the level of those with higher consciousness whose mind space has no thoughts just bliss.

As our minds continue to be a clutter,I chose to write about this for two reasons - One, For many others who are equally or more restless and are a wreck when alone and nothing to do. And have possibly never reflected about this.
Two, I feel its a good start to reflect on this and try not to be afraid with our often troubling minds, and face those few minutes of "nothing to do" with much calm.